The double-edged sword of not looking sick. 

When I was reading the NHS guidance on transplant recipients writing to donor families, I saw that we are allowed to include photographs of ourselves, provided they are free from identifying information like obvious landmarks, name badges, street signs or children in school uniform. After doing some research on social media, I discovered that many people send two photos, one taken prior to transplant and one taken afterwards. The juxtaposition of these two pictures is

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The things only we know: for my friends who really do “get it”.

A few days ago I wrote about how I have brilliant friends who have never made me feel “less than” for having been sick, and who, even though they’ve never been where I am, have just kind of “got on with it” and encouraged me to do the same. What I didn’t mention in that letter is that I also have another group of friends. These ones do get it. They get it because they’ve

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Because you stayed: a letter to my friends

Dear Friends, The last several years have been anything but easy for me. To go from being a perfectly healthy twenty-something grad student to somebody sick enough to need an organ transplant is a big adjustment, to say the least. This is my life, and I’m the one who’s had to live through all of these things, but I know they’ve impacted you too. No man is an island, so John Donne says. When I

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The most important thing I’ve ever done; Dear Donor Family

A few weeks ago, I did one of the most important things I probably ever will. I wrote to the family of my donor. Due to NHS regulations here in the UK, I know virtually nothing about my donor or his family. I know his gender, obviously, and that he was “middle-aged” and healthy enough to donate. Beyond that, he is anonymous. I presume his family know equally little about me. Probably only that I’m

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Chapter X: Normality?

As I sit writing this now, I’m almost eight months post-transplant and things are good. Aside from an unwanted encounter with CMV (cytomegalovirus, a virus transplant recipients sometimes get) Billy the Kid is doing well after his rough start and I’ve regained some semblance of normality in life. I’m told that by the 12-month point the results should be virtually indistinguishable from those of a kidney that worked straight away. His 10 day nap hasn’t

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